Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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