Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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