I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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