His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she looked like the before picture.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
