oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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