i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
