dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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