So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
