why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we're making bets on your personal life
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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