And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
