You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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