Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
