O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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