Apparently you make a good broom.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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