can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
50% drunk capacity currently
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
