I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize