how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
