Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
