just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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