I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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