Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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