moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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