Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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