I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
