So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
