you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
