Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
