Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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