I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
