i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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