I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
