do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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