The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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