I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
