well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
