i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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