I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
