I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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