Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
