I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
