i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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