If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
