Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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