I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
