worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
