Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
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so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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