k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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