the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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