thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
