I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize