meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You are a genius and a whore.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
