So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
