There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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