I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
did i just pee glitter
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize