New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
