If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
