Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Terrible idea I love it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
