Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
