I wanna bring you to show and tell
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
