We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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