I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is Oprah even human
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
